Stingy Brewer

by kelly

Tiring of my usual lunch haunt, I decided to eat today at the 411 Building, the home of my former firm.

While walking there, I passed the Pfister Hotel, a historic hotel in downtown Milwaukee that lodges any celebrity of note during their stay in our fine city.


originally uploaded by benajp.

I was reminded, as I approached the northwest corner of Milwaukee Ave and Jefferson Street, near the Pfister’s entrance, that this corner is often the site of gathered would-be groupies and fans, who always seem to know when they might possibly be able to catch a glimpse of a beloved celebrity hotel guest.

There was a group of people on the corner today, but before I could wonder who might be gracing the Pfister’s halls, I saw a man sprinting in the street with curious determination. I couldn’t help but to stop and watch, along with the gathered people whom I had reached, to see whither he was running¬†and with what purpose.

As I looked on, the man reached his car and opened the rear passenger door. He dove in to retrieve an item with such energy and haste that I wondered if he had suddenly remembered that he’d left an infant or dear pet in there by mistake. After emerging with what seemed to be a paper in his hand, the man sprinted back toward where I stood — still moving quickly — to a grey vehicle stopped at the light in front of the groupie corner.

He approached the driver’s side door with what turned out to be an 11 x 14 photograph, in hand, apparently hoping that the driver, whom he recognized, would roll down the window and autograph it.

But, the driver would have none of it. The light turned green, the grey vehicle sped off, and the man was left, expressionless, in the middle of the street with nothing but the unsigned photo in his hands and, in his ears,¬†the conciliatory “awwws” and “heys” of the onlooking groupies – intoned to convey both sympathy for the fan and reproach for the vehicle’s driver.

Who was that driver, you ask? Why it was Derrick Turnbow РPitcher for the Milwaukee Brewers. Just performing another bit of bad marketing for our hometown baseball team.

2 Responses to “Stingy Brewer”

  1. Kelly Says:

    Editorial comment: I revised this post. I had written “our sucky hometown team,” but Paul objected. I guess it turns out that the Brewers have been winning some games lately. I don’t really pay attention, even though I love the sausage races:

    and the stadium:

  2. Kelly Says:

    My stepfather had a good point. Maybe this guy isn’t used to being asked for his autograph, and had the same reaction that you or I would have to a maniac running up to our car waiving a piece of paper. I’ll cut him some slack.