No More Anxiety Dream? Should That Worry Me?

by kelly

For several years now – did it start sometime in college?¬†- I’ve had a recurring anxiety dream of the academic sort.¬†

I don’t have it very often.¬† But it pops up from time to time – usually¬†during a period in which¬†I’m busier than usual,¬†and always with the same general theme.

In the dream, I suddenly remember that I have a test to take or a long paper to turn in – either that day or the next day.¬† The setting of the dream (as well as the theme of the class)¬†can vary, but these frequently “take place” in¬†either my highschool or my middle school.¬† Inevitably,¬†I realize that I’ve forgotten about the class for the duration of the now-ending¬†semester.¬† I panic and wonder how I’m ever going to pass the class.¬† And mostly, I feel upset and astounded that I’ve forgotten this obligation altogether.

Well, I’m wondering now if I’ve dreamed my last of that dream. . .

Earlier this week, after being awake for most of the night listening to and taking turns caring for a teething (and ear-aching) Emma, I was exhausted.

I slept soundly only between 4:00 a.m. and 6:00 a.m.  And during that time, I had the dream.

But it was different this time.

For the first time ever, when presented with the fact that I had a physics exam that I was not in the least prepared for . . . my attitude, with a general, shoulder-shrugging¬†lack of concern and even disdain, was “So what!?¬† Give me a¬†D or an F.”

I’m not sure what to make of this odd development.¬†

I’ve never heard of “conquering” one’s own anxiety dream before.¬†

So I’m not yet sure if I should feel triumphant, and applaud my evolution, or whether I should be very concerned.¬†

Is it a bad thing to have reached the state, in the waking, as well as the sleeping¬†world, that I just don’t let the stress get me down anymore?

Have I achieved a state of Zen, or am I just too tired to care?

I really¬†do have more projects to do at work than I can get done¬†within a reasonable time.¬† And as I told a colleague earlier this week, “When you have 25 ‘urgent’ projects, none of them seems quite so urgent anymore.”

The jury is still out on whether my sense of peace with it all is a good or a bad development.

Maybe the answer will arrive in another dream.   

3 Responses to “No More Anxiety Dream? Should That Worry Me?”

  1. Nicole Says:

    I say enjoy the fact that you subconsciously know that in the end it really doesnt matter. The world wont end if you got a D or an F in the class, it would just kinda suck.

  2. Editor B Says:

    You are probably an overachiever. I don’t know you well enough to say for sure; I’m just guessing. I would further guess that the shift in psychology revealed by this dream is a good development. I congratulate you on a expanded perspective.

  3. Kristen Says:

    I have that dream too! Mine is always set in my high school, or in this school-like environment I don’t recognize. I show up for the final of a math or science class that I did not attend all term. Very very strange. But actually not all that strange since attendance was always an issue for me in high school…